So to snack or not to snack has always been something I've struggled with. With an eating disorder when I thought about snacking what I was really asking myself "Will I starve/restrict?" or "Will I binge and later purge?" In the beginning of my eating disorder I'd almost always choose to restrict. To just wait the three, four, five, or six hours until my allotted meal. The meal that I usually purged anyways. Although scientifically I knew that my body wouldn't gain weight from eating one healthy meal a day. I still would purge most of it just to be sure. I don't do anything half ass. If I'm passionate about something, and I was with my ED when I'm going balls to the walls. Eating close to nothing.
In the later stages of my ED I just couldn't possibly maintain the anorexia anymore. I knew that as an athlete I needed to eat something... So I just tried to eat as much as a 60 year old post menopausal woman would eat. This will be a shocker to you.. brace yourself... are you bracing? I was still hungry. WHAT you mean someone who did at least one high school sport a day and killed it in the gym everyday wasn't thriving of of xxxx calories a day?!
I was still hungry, and I wanted to snack. These urges usually came right after school and then around 9:30 at night when I got home from my round 2 workout. At first I would fight them but eventually I decided to eat something. At first I'd try eating a piece of fruit and then waiting about 10 seconds until I decided that that would simply not do. Then I would go HAM on whatever was available. Full blown binge and purge. Then I'd be disappointed in myself. In the end stages of bulimia I binge and purge without even being hungry. I'd binge and purge that I wouldn't feel things.
Today when I think about snacking it's much different than before. If it's earlier in the day like before the evening I will usually snack because I know that I'm still going to be active. So I will be burning it off eventually. If I'm hungry before a meal sometimes I wait for the meal. And then other times I just snack anyway because I know that I will simply eat less during the meal. It all equals out. Your body knows how much energy you need. If I get hungry right before bed I still try to fight it. I will lay in bed wishing that the hunger would just go away so I wouldn't have to eat right before bed. The hunger never does go away until I eat like half a granola bar or something. But when I do eat that granola bar my body is happy and it allows me to sleep and get ready for the next day.
Snacking is necessary sometimes. Snacking is not going to make you gain weight if you are indeed eating intuitively. I am an athlete. I need grub! Life is better with feeling occasional hunger and feeling the satisfaction of erasing that hunger with a healthy meal.
Bre: Energy, Health, and Snacks. ED: Minor Irrelevant Thoughts.
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