Hey there!
Alright, close your eyes.. Just kidding. Keep them open or else you won't be able to read my typing. For real though. Remove yourself from reality... Feel yourself drift off into la la land. Feel big strong Pegasus wings sprout from your back and carry you away. Imagine all is right with the world. No one is struggling. No one is starving. There is no strife or surviving. All are thriving. No one is poor, no one is rich. The class system does not exist. Everyone is cheerful and nothing is wrong. In fact everything is going so smoothly that it seems as though everything should be said in song.
Doesn't this wonderland la la lapolis sound devine? Of course it does! By definition of la la lapolis nothing could possibly be wrong with anything! Does this simulation reflect reality at all?
Not really. We live on an everlasting roller coaster. We are constantly up or down. Happy or sad. Content or discontent. Relaxed or Stressed. Energized or tired. Perky or lethargic. The list continues. What I am getting at now is we all have good days and bad days. Days where we want to hug strangers and kiss an old lady on the cheek. We also have days where we want to stomp holes in the sidewalk or bend metal with our minds. We all have the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is life.
It's okay to be unhappy or stressed out. It's part of living. Part of human nature. And part of living in a world that is to crowded and to obsessed with urgency. The key is coping! COPING! It all comes down to how you cope with things.
No one is perfect. Not many people are perfect copers. I mean, look at me.. I developed an eating disorder because I couldn't cope with things. I couldn't cope with feelings or boredom. But you already knew that. Back to the real purpose of this entry.
It is wrong to take our stress out on others. It is wrong to bring people down just because you are down. These are basic principles that most respectable adults know but are sometimes forgotten.
If you are feeling stressed, delegate. If you are confused, think about it, talk about it. If you are overworked, take a day off, take a nap. REVAMP. If you are angry, let it out (but not on people who did not cause the problem). Also be careful not to project. Don't project your feelings on to others. Just because you hate your day doesn't mean I hate mine. Don't take your aggression out on innocent bystanders.
Basically we all have struggles. Big and small. Just remember, it could always be worse. Hang in there. If you're having a bad time just know that eventually it does get better.
Love Always.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Not Sure What I'm Supposed to See
Today I felt super strong. I improved my dead lift max at crossfit, did well on the Workout Of The Day (WOD), and did 25 real kipping pull ups without a band! I just started being able to do kipping pull ups yesterday! So 25 was a big deal for me. Any who, I felt strong. At crossfit I was a tank. When I say tank I mean it in the best way possible. But once I got home and looked at myself as I was taking a shower/looking at my naked body in the mirror I thought that I looked larger than usual. I'm thinking it could've been swollen muscles. I mean I did just finish working out. Also I still wonder if ED is skewing my self vision. It freaks me out that I will never know if I am truly seeing myself for what I actually look like.
Long story short. I've been exercising and eating like a champ! Not eating enough to bulk but enough to keep me satisfied and energized during workouts. (I say that like it's simple but really I've been working on that balance since 2007) So with all this data I've collected I really can't be gaining weight. Sure I've been lifting heavier than usual but I've also been burning more calories than usual. I think it's impossible for me to be gaining weight right now. Even so if I was gaining weight It would still be okay because obviously I've become fitter. I say "obviously" because I'm doing things with my body everyday that I couldn't have done before crossfit. Today I did 25 pull ups. A month ago when I started crossfit I couldn't do one.
ALSO: Even though I thought I was looking heavier I didn't restrict or exercise more than I wanted to. I had originally planned to go on a run after dinner but in all honesty I'm far to tired. What I needed to do tonight was rest. And that is exactly what I did.
I could never know what I actually look like. But what I do know is that my body impresses me everyday.
Bre: Confused but proud
Ed: Being questionable as always.
Long story short. I've been exercising and eating like a champ! Not eating enough to bulk but enough to keep me satisfied and energized during workouts. (I say that like it's simple but really I've been working on that balance since 2007) So with all this data I've collected I really can't be gaining weight. Sure I've been lifting heavier than usual but I've also been burning more calories than usual. I think it's impossible for me to be gaining weight right now. Even so if I was gaining weight It would still be okay because obviously I've become fitter. I say "obviously" because I'm doing things with my body everyday that I couldn't have done before crossfit. Today I did 25 pull ups. A month ago when I started crossfit I couldn't do one.
ALSO: Even though I thought I was looking heavier I didn't restrict or exercise more than I wanted to. I had originally planned to go on a run after dinner but in all honesty I'm far to tired. What I needed to do tonight was rest. And that is exactly what I did.
I could never know what I actually look like. But what I do know is that my body impresses me everyday.
Bre: Confused but proud
Ed: Being questionable as always.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
If it wasn't for...
If it wasn't for the great day, awesome workout, time with the best of friends, family time, progress at crossfit, and everything else that went right in my day today I'd be a little heart broken.
Focus on all the things that went right today instead of the few things that went wrong.
Any day can be a terrible one if you tell yourself it will be.
Keep on keepin on.
Bre: trying to forgive and forget
Ed: had nothing to do with this. Okay maybe a little.. But not much!!
Okay maybe I'm a little heart broken. Ouch.
Friday, July 19, 2013
For All You Exercise Junkies Out There
Sometimes it's best to just have some time to yourself. Time to relax.
You might be thinking "Well Bre, I do have time to myself. I like the time I have to myself. I like spending time with myself In the gym." When you say that I'm thinking, "Well Reader, that sounds great. I like my gym time too. I do feel at peace while I'm in the gym (most days)." But while I do appreciate that you spend time on yourself and your body in the gym I'm also asking you to spend some time with yourself in a relaxed environment.
Sit in a cool dim room. Starfish on the floor. Close your eyes if you wish. If you fall asleep that's wonderful! You probably needed that. But if you fall asleep I'm not counting that as self reflection unless you had a ground breaking, reality shattering dream that changed your life. No? You didn't have that? Then wake up and reflect!
What did you think about during your reflection time? How long did it last? Did you get anxious? Sometimes I do, other times I am content with laying on the floor for awhile. After I reflect and assess my feelings and whatever else I usually listen to some music that mirrors how I'm feeling. Don't want to buy music? Me either. Youtube it! Use Spotify or Pandora. Its fo freeeeeeeee.
Basically what I'm saying is you need a different way to be with just yourself that is restful. You can't be up and going all the time. That is not healthy.
Love yourself.
Bre: Reflecting Ed: still makes me anxious sometimes.
You might be thinking "Well Bre, I do have time to myself. I like the time I have to myself. I like spending time with myself In the gym." When you say that I'm thinking, "Well Reader, that sounds great. I like my gym time too. I do feel at peace while I'm in the gym (most days)." But while I do appreciate that you spend time on yourself and your body in the gym I'm also asking you to spend some time with yourself in a relaxed environment.
Sit in a cool dim room. Starfish on the floor. Close your eyes if you wish. If you fall asleep that's wonderful! You probably needed that. But if you fall asleep I'm not counting that as self reflection unless you had a ground breaking, reality shattering dream that changed your life. No? You didn't have that? Then wake up and reflect!
What did you think about during your reflection time? How long did it last? Did you get anxious? Sometimes I do, other times I am content with laying on the floor for awhile. After I reflect and assess my feelings and whatever else I usually listen to some music that mirrors how I'm feeling. Don't want to buy music? Me either. Youtube it! Use Spotify or Pandora. Its fo freeeeeeeee.
Basically what I'm saying is you need a different way to be with just yourself that is restful. You can't be up and going all the time. That is not healthy.
Love yourself.
Bre: Reflecting Ed: still makes me anxious sometimes.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Sometimes
Sometimes I think that I look fit and strong and sometimes I think I look overweight and chubby.
I recommend believing the best image you can see of yourself. We really Are out own worst critics.
Bre: having trouble knowing what's true
Ed: affecting my vison.
Remember body size isn't what is important. I could preach that all day long. But sometime Ed wants you to think that it's very important.
Hang in there.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
One Glorious Rest Day
Greetings Friends!
So today I woke up real sore. My quads ached when I squated down and my triceps throbbed when I extented my arms. I woke up to a text from my friend sarah that said "gym today?" I replied with "I'm super sore so I'm not sure." and then another text that read, "I want to though! I'm torn." I really was torn I wanted to exercise. I exercise everyday. I love the feeling it gives me. Part of me thinks that my spirituality is based on exercise and being outside. I wanted to workout but I knew that my body was telling me to take a day off. I knew that if I did take today off I would perform better tomorrow. I also knew that any gym workout I did today wouldn't have felt as good as a workout I did when I wasn't sore. Sarah replied with, "No you gotta recover today." I told her that I was going to go for just a little workout at the gym and then maybe walk my dog. She said, "Don't you dare. I'm not going and you're not going. We will go tomorrow and have an even better cardio sesh."
She talked me out of going to the gym and working out. I really appriciate that. Sometimes it takes another athlete's perspective to tell you when you've done enough. It's natural for me to expect a lot out of my body and sometimes I need someone to tell me to sit and take a rest. Thanks Sarah!
As I was texting Sarah this morning I was also googling "Is it good for your body to exercise when you are sore?" And basically what the Internet told me was that when you are sore it is okay to do very light cardio such as walking or biking. This light heart rate elevation increases blood flow which gets more nutrients to the sore areas of your body. I also saw reminders about how muscle isn't built during workouts. It's build after workouts when your body is recovering. Therefore if you don't let your body recover you will start to overtrain which will decrease performance.
Once again the lesson here is to honor your body. Take that rest day! There is a reason that almost every crossfit gym in the world is closed on Sunday! They expect you to work hard every other day of the week so that you need a day of rest.
I ended up taking my dog for a long walk down the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail of Anchorage, Alaska. It was beautiful outside. I saw a ton of happy people enjoying the day in an active way. I said hello to almost everyone I passed and helped a tourist find a moose. I couldn't have asked for a more peaceful and fulfilling afternoon. Also the adoration I have for my pooch is fairly amazing and I had a blast just spending time with him.
Bre: A glorious and well earned rest day. ED: Telling me to wear pants when I should've showed some skin and got a tan.
Love always,
Bre
So today I woke up real sore. My quads ached when I squated down and my triceps throbbed when I extented my arms. I woke up to a text from my friend sarah that said "gym today?" I replied with "I'm super sore so I'm not sure." and then another text that read, "I want to though! I'm torn." I really was torn I wanted to exercise. I exercise everyday. I love the feeling it gives me. Part of me thinks that my spirituality is based on exercise and being outside. I wanted to workout but I knew that my body was telling me to take a day off. I knew that if I did take today off I would perform better tomorrow. I also knew that any gym workout I did today wouldn't have felt as good as a workout I did when I wasn't sore. Sarah replied with, "No you gotta recover today." I told her that I was going to go for just a little workout at the gym and then maybe walk my dog. She said, "Don't you dare. I'm not going and you're not going. We will go tomorrow and have an even better cardio sesh."
She talked me out of going to the gym and working out. I really appriciate that. Sometimes it takes another athlete's perspective to tell you when you've done enough. It's natural for me to expect a lot out of my body and sometimes I need someone to tell me to sit and take a rest. Thanks Sarah!
As I was texting Sarah this morning I was also googling "Is it good for your body to exercise when you are sore?" And basically what the Internet told me was that when you are sore it is okay to do very light cardio such as walking or biking. This light heart rate elevation increases blood flow which gets more nutrients to the sore areas of your body. I also saw reminders about how muscle isn't built during workouts. It's build after workouts when your body is recovering. Therefore if you don't let your body recover you will start to overtrain which will decrease performance.
Once again the lesson here is to honor your body. Take that rest day! There is a reason that almost every crossfit gym in the world is closed on Sunday! They expect you to work hard every other day of the week so that you need a day of rest.
I ended up taking my dog for a long walk down the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail of Anchorage, Alaska. It was beautiful outside. I saw a ton of happy people enjoying the day in an active way. I said hello to almost everyone I passed and helped a tourist find a moose. I couldn't have asked for a more peaceful and fulfilling afternoon. Also the adoration I have for my pooch is fairly amazing and I had a blast just spending time with him.
Bre: A glorious and well earned rest day. ED: Telling me to wear pants when I should've showed some skin and got a tan.
Love always,
Bre
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Honor Your Body
Today was a good workout day. I don't want to go into depth about what I did because I don't want anyone to compare their regimens to mine. I was satisfied with the amount of physical activity I had today and that is all that really matters.
Somedays I feel absolutely indestructible. I feel like I could spend the rest of my life picking heavy things up and putting them back down. Sometimes I feel like working out will be my only true love. Sometimes I feel like exercising is the one thing to keep me sane. There are like 326548937 different feelings and thoughts I might have during my evening cardio sesh. Tonight I wasn't feeling many of them. I was fairly bored. I didn't really want to workout but I had already committed to a friend. I drug myself into the gym after taking a 15 min power nap in my car. The kind of tired where you curse as your alarm goes off. I got myself in the gym and then played some basketball until my friend arrived. I had fun with basketball but even with that I wasn't doing close to what I am capable of. My chest was real sore from the past couple days. I figured shooting some hops and jogging around wouldn't make much of a difference so I did it. Maybe I should've stuck with that. At least I was enjoying it. But I didn't. I did a workout with my friend. Which is totally cool and I didn't end up hating it. But I kept thinking about my body. Not about how my body appeared to others but about what my body was trying to tell me. My body wanted a break! I didn't give my body that break today. As I sit on the couch now I feel like it's resting but I can't help but know that my body didn't want to participate in this afternoon's workout. I'm sorry body. Maybe next time.
Please respect your body. After all, you only get one. Well, in special cases you could get some artificial body parts... BUT STILL!
Even though I let my head get the best of my body this afternoon I had other successes today where I did honor my body. I honored my body everytime I ate when I was hungry. I honored my body when I ate what I wanted. When I ate something I was craving even if some people would've said that it was a "bad food." I respected my body at crossfit when I didn't force my body to lift a weight that was to heavy for it. I scaled down and used a lighter weight. At the end of the workout I knew I could've and should've gone heavier so instead of beating myself up about it I just did some extra reps. At the gym I honored my body when I told my friend Sarah that I would not run with her. My knee was hurting as I was doing a lower impact movement so I decided not to push it. I want to be able to workout tomorrow and not feel injured. If I let ED decide he would've told me to run today. He would've have cared that my joint hurt. All ED cares about is appearance. ED and I have different goals.
I'm proud of myself for making good decisions today.
ED: Telling me not to honor my body Bre: Honoring my body.
Somedays I feel absolutely indestructible. I feel like I could spend the rest of my life picking heavy things up and putting them back down. Sometimes I feel like working out will be my only true love. Sometimes I feel like exercising is the one thing to keep me sane. There are like 326548937 different feelings and thoughts I might have during my evening cardio sesh. Tonight I wasn't feeling many of them. I was fairly bored. I didn't really want to workout but I had already committed to a friend. I drug myself into the gym after taking a 15 min power nap in my car. The kind of tired where you curse as your alarm goes off. I got myself in the gym and then played some basketball until my friend arrived. I had fun with basketball but even with that I wasn't doing close to what I am capable of. My chest was real sore from the past couple days. I figured shooting some hops and jogging around wouldn't make much of a difference so I did it. Maybe I should've stuck with that. At least I was enjoying it. But I didn't. I did a workout with my friend. Which is totally cool and I didn't end up hating it. But I kept thinking about my body. Not about how my body appeared to others but about what my body was trying to tell me. My body wanted a break! I didn't give my body that break today. As I sit on the couch now I feel like it's resting but I can't help but know that my body didn't want to participate in this afternoon's workout. I'm sorry body. Maybe next time.
Please respect your body. After all, you only get one. Well, in special cases you could get some artificial body parts... BUT STILL!
Even though I let my head get the best of my body this afternoon I had other successes today where I did honor my body. I honored my body everytime I ate when I was hungry. I honored my body when I ate what I wanted. When I ate something I was craving even if some people would've said that it was a "bad food." I respected my body at crossfit when I didn't force my body to lift a weight that was to heavy for it. I scaled down and used a lighter weight. At the end of the workout I knew I could've and should've gone heavier so instead of beating myself up about it I just did some extra reps. At the gym I honored my body when I told my friend Sarah that I would not run with her. My knee was hurting as I was doing a lower impact movement so I decided not to push it. I want to be able to workout tomorrow and not feel injured. If I let ED decide he would've told me to run today. He would've have cared that my joint hurt. All ED cares about is appearance. ED and I have different goals.
I'm proud of myself for making good decisions today.
ED: Telling me not to honor my body Bre: Honoring my body.
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