Where is my heart?

“today my teacher asked me
where my heart was.
anatomically, i should’ve answered
‘just to the left of the breastbone.’
but my god that’s not where my heart is at all.
it’s inside you.”

I saw that quote today and it got me thinking. Where is my heart? I decided that my heart isn't just in one place. I've invested little tiny pieces in different aspects of my life. This is probably good. At least I think so. Because if my heart isn't all in one place it can't get completely shattered. No one thing could occur that would completely destroy me. 

Of course my parents have part of my heart. As I get older that piece changes from a need to make them proud and happy into a need to be myself and make myself happy. I still love my parents. Don't get me wrong. But I love my independence more. I love that I have my own personality, identities, and dreams that don't necessarily coincide with every one of their values. Everyday that becomes more and more okay.

My greatest of friends have a piece of my heart. They usually hold it with care. They lift it out of harms way and keep it away from predators. This piece of my heart is one that I really won't ever have to worry about. Because if anyone of my good friends were to set my heart down, even for a second. Then they didn't deserve to hold it in the first place. 

Lovers. Every time I get involved with anyone I give them a little piece. I hand it to them gingerly because eventually it gets tossed back at me like a tennis ball but I still give it away like a sophomore on prom night. Its how I work. It's obvious that I wear my heart on my sleeve. But its a big heart and I can afford to give pieces away to any girl who gets my attention. These are the pieces my friends tell me to keep. Basically I live by the motto "its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." 

Chops. My dog son. He holds a big chunk of my heart. He carries it as if it was his own. He protects it as if it was his bone. This piece of my heart I would give to chops everyday in every way. He earned it. Just by being him. 

Crossfit. Crossfit. Crossfit. Of course Crossfit holds like half my heart. Its my vice. Without it I don't know who I'd be. I love everything about it. Especially the community. At first I didnt even give my heart to Crossfit but rather it ran away with it the moment my coach said 3-2-1-GO.  

These people and things that hold pieces of me. Pieces of my heart will forever have them. I can't get them back and I'd never want to. 

2014 Reebok Crossfit Games

The 2014 Reebok Crossfit Games were this weekend. So of course I was keeping up with them. What I saw was more than the top three men, women, and teams on the planet. I saw heart, discipline, plans, recovery, execution, and so much more. I saw years of hard work and training being put to the test. For some athletes their hard work and training didnt show as well as others. Thats a bummer for them for sure.. But this doesnt have to be the end. Sure, they didnt win this year but if they really wanted it. I mean REALLY wanted it they will try again. They will be back with vengeance. Even then they might not win. But what is most impressive to me with the crossfit games is those athletes like Rebecca Voigt and Chris Spealler who have competed over and over again in the Reebok Crossfit Games. Winning isnt everything. But being in the top 40 fittest men and women on the planet? that is everything. The support that they have taken, shown, and given the sport is incredible and a tribute to the community that crossfit builds.

I saw about one hundred athletes experience the raw emotions that I experience everyday. I saw them surprise themselves and cry. I saw them pick other athletes off the ground and worry about their injuries. I saw heartbreak and angry faces. I saw emotion. I used to think were to much for the level that im at. I now see that when you are that invested in a sport/life style. Emotion comes naturally. We all feel this way. Yes I said "we". because in the crossfit community the best in the world wouldnt mind that I grouped myself with them. They just want me to achieve all that I can. Its a beautiful thing knowing that I could walk up to any 2014 games competitor hug them and they wouldnt see it as weird. Crossfitters who take this shit seriously have a bond. I bond that goes past competition and morphs into a brotherhood.

Everyday I'm greatful to have been invited into the crossfit way of life. Nothing gives me more pleasure than spreading the crossfit love that I have. Soon I will be a coach. And that is almost unfathomable to me.



God Bless Crossfit, and Rich Froning.

Reasons why this summer might have been my best one yet

The summer of 2014 has not quite come to an end yet but already i have deemed it a good one. I've decided this based on an extremely complicated algorithm that I couldn't possibly explain.

One reason why this summer had been a good one is because I've spent more time with my pup than any summer before. I take him on long hikes. Sometimes alone sometimes with friends. I make sure he has water and gets an dog arthritis pill afterwards so he doesn't get to stiff. My man is getting older. I take pictures of him to capture every moment because moments with chops and i roaming in the alaskan wilderness are some of the purest and most genuine vie experienced. We cuddle on the daily. he trusts me so much that i can scoop him up from a deep slumber and lay him on my chest and his breathing wont even change. I tell him i love him via my mouth and he tells me via his eyes. This bond with chopper reminds me that no matter what rejection i face in the real world he could never hurt me. I once read that to humans dogs are just a part of their life but to the dog we are their whole life. His unconditional love is enough for me.

Another reason is that I've done what I've wanted this summer. I quit a job I was tired of to find work that made me happier. I took time for myself and spent time with good friends in a safe place. I'm working less and making less but I'm varying my resume and learning different skills. I'm putting myself in less than ideal situations and I'm rising to the occasion.

I'm becoming a better crossfitter. I'm getting stronger and faster. I'm becoming more encouraging while staying competitive. I'm writing down my workouts, times, weights, and scores. I'm treating equipment well and learning gym etiquette. I'm utilizing training partners. I'm learning how to fix form and how to do the movement correctly and efficiently myself. Mobility and flexibility have become important aspects of my training.

At one of my jobs I have the privilege of speaking spanish to my coworker. It's an awesome time and really good for both of us.


I've had flings and things that have made this summer interesting and sometimes a little dramatic. Sometimes they made me a little crazy but that just made me confide in friends. which then made my buds rise to the occasion and be there for me. So really i have no regrets.

I've spent time with the friends who matter most. I haven't spread myself to thin. I haven't had to cancel due to double booking and I haven't taken for granted any time I've spent with the ones i hold near and dear.

Nothing huge happened. No big trips. No sudden realizations. Just life and the things i love. Chops, not working, crossfit, spanish, girls, and friends.

Programing, its a thing.

I go through a tag line basically every week on my various social media sites. But one I keep coming back to is "Making Gainz Not Excuses." What can i say? I like it! It sends a message that I believe in and that I want to spread. What is Bre Baines doing? Making Gainz Not Excuses. Doesn't that sound awesome? In the past all that meant was that I was working towards my goals. In the past I was sort of doing that blindly. Mostly without rhyme or reason. I would make up a workout and do it. I would pick a lift and work on it. I wasn't on a schedule. And I would stray from programs like they weren't even written down. Through doing this I became a better athlete. There is no doubt about that. But I wasnt using my full potential. I was riding off of the natural gainz a novice crossfitter can make during their first year in the sport. Honestly, I have no regrets about the way I exercised during my first year. I was having fun. Learning to love the sport, my body, and the community around me.

Its now been a year of crossfit and recently I've started sticking to a program and seeing incredible results. I came home for the summer and went back to my old box. Everyday I came in and did a workout and then worked on some random shiz. At this point i was becoming a little more organized and objective. At least I had a squat program I was working on! Thats a start right? Anyways I would do the workout with the rest of the gym and then try to do my squat cycle. Most days I just couldnt do it. One of the coaches told me to stop trying. I was really confused by this. I mean usually coaches encourage you to push past your limits and do something you didnt think you were capable of. But when I looked at him funny he said stick to a program and only one program. So I fucked around in the gym for another week and then started training the invictus competition program with the big boys and girls at crossfit alaska. the first couple weeks I was getting a baseline but after that I started getting fucking strong and conditioned! I was deadlifting more than ever, squatting with excellent form and stacking more weight on the bar, I was taking off weight when my form got dicy. I challenged myself to rise to the occassion and compete with my friends and more importantly myself. I was PRing lifts every time I did them. BEING ON A PROGRAM IS OUT OF THIS WORLD! For the first time I was training for crossfit rather than simply exercising.Even though sometimes this program is a little out of my league and sometimes I think the volume is a bit excessive I do it because that's whats written down, its written down for a reason, and that is what Im capable of. Doing this program has shown me just what I can do. And what I can do is push myself!

Thanks Mike for pushing me out of my comfort zone.

Hey, you're incredible