It's been awhile, a lot has happened.

It's been a really long time since I've posted. I haven't posted since February.. That's probably because I've been relapsing since November of 2014. Maybe a little before that. I cant remember. When you're relapsing you dont really remember everything that goes on in your life like you would when you aren't encased in your eating disorder. Everything is blurry and unclear. So when someone asks how long you have been struggling you dont know what to say. But I'm pretty sure i really went off the deep end in November of 2014. It's august and I'm just now getting my shit back in order. my ducks in a row. my poop in a group, and my eggs in a basket. So..there went another 9 months of my life to bulimia. There went sooooo many crossfit gains.. to bulimia. There went connections with others and light hearted kinship.. to bulimia. there went hundreds of dollars to food that i would later purge.


BUT! God Bless America I am back on the straight and narrow and am feeling better than i ever remember feeling. Its only been 2 weeks. 1 of me trying to cut back on binging and purging and one of me without doing it at all. Thats HUGE. ENORMOUS. GIGANTIC. I am head over heals proud of myself and so is my main homie gabigail who was there when i needed her and rose to the occasion like a boss. I am giving my body adequate nutrition to function and perform. It's incredible how much better you feel just a couple weeks into really really really trying. Let it be known that this is not the first time during this relapse that ive tried to get my shit together. But it is the first time in this relapse that ive made it more than like 20 hours without letting my eating disorder get the best of me. Already I am a champion. I will continue to be for the rest of my life.


I'm so excited to see how much eating like a normal human improves my life. I'm so excited to see what my full crossfit potential is. I'm excited to spread the word about my recovery so that other's know they are not alone. I am exhuberated to feel as good as i do. My body is changing for the better and so is my brain.

Do the hardest thing you'v never done and beat your eating disorder. And if you've done that, help someone else.