Talking about the hard stuff.. It's FUCKING HARD!
"No one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it." said someone who was spot on!
Talking about the tough stuff is awful. At least in the beginning. It's awkward and difficult. You choke a little each time you try to tell someone whats been eating you up inside. You cant help but be mad that the person you're telling cant read your mind. you just want it to be over. Maybe you dont even care if they know you just dont know how to say it.
I didn't used to talk about the tough stuff but now I do. I used to ignore what I was thinking, feeling, and wanting. I used to act like everything was great and I was living the perfect life. I don't act anymore. I've become honest. If I like you, you know it because I've told you. If I love you, I've said it. I've probably also written you something so sweet that you cried a little. If I'm feeling pissy or just in a bad mood, I've made it very clear, in fact I've probably also said something along the lines of "I'm in a terrible mood. No seriously, do not touch me." If you've done something to hurt me or just something that I cant stand I wont try to stand it. I will let you know how much you messed up. If I want to cry, I cry. I dont try to hide it.
I do all of this because I spent years of my life not talking about how I was thinking, feeling, and wanting. All this not talking eventually turned into disordered eating and then into almost indestructible habits. Talking about stuff has saved my life.
There is nothing wrong with having feelings and talking about them with a loved one or a therapist.
You cant get over something until you wade neck deep in it and almost drown.
Talk about the tough stuff. Be brave. Be bold. Be you.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Accepting Your Athletic Body. Pros/Cons of Being JACKED!
Hey there,
So I just read this awesome article about "accepting your crossfit body." Here it is: http://liferxd.com/2013/11/20/accepting-my-crossfit-body/
Anyays, you can read it. I recommend it but you dont have to. I'm going to tell you a bit about it anyways.
Basically the article was about accepting all that comes with crossfit and accepting what it does to your body. This article is more geared towards women but in reality it could be useful for men as well depending on how you see yourself. It talks about things from callused hands to triceps that are visible through a shirt. As a woman growing up in a society that bowed down to the slender women I've thought a lot about the aftermath of lifting heavy. I might get bigger.. At first that scared me. Now it doesn't. It's actually really hard to gain size. In fact if you are a female crossfitter you actually have to TRY to gain muscle mass if thats what you want. Santa doesn't bring muscular thighs and a round ass for Christmas. You're going to have to lift a lot of weight and eat a lot to build up those muscles! So I guess what I'm saying is that crossfit wont make you gain a ton of weight. And even if it did... Crossfit makes it show in beautiful ways. The key is body acceptance and self love.
The article talked about female athletes who have a hard time finding clothes that "fit" them the way they want them to. I've been an athlete almost my entire life and I'm very familiar with the jeans that that are tight in the thighs and huge in the waist. There has been times I could've stored a honey dew melon in the front of my waist band but puting on leggings under my jeans would've been out of the question. I used to complain about that and hate that my thighs are that big. Today I realize that I would way rather have those musularly thick thighs than any others. Those thighs and probably some more muscle is whats going to help me squat over 200 pounds. If that means that when I wear jeans I will also have to wear a belt, so be it.
The article talked about getting black heads and clogged pores from the dirty mats we sometimes lay our bodies on. I guess all I have to say about that is love what you do and accept all that comes with it. if you're a cross country runner love your foot calluses because they protect your feet and fight against blisters. If you're a tennis player love your hugely muscular shoulders because they allow you to win matches and they to protect against injury. Love whatever your love brings whether that be zits, calluses, sore muscles, ripped clothes, or even less leisure time because you chose this life for a reason.
Overall, I guess what I'm saying is that overtime crossfit is going to make me abnormally muscular and a spectacle for non crossfitters to gocke at. I'm completely fine with the fact that I wont look like an average american woman. I'm fine with this because I have no desire to be an AVERAGE american woman. I want to be elite in every aspect of my life that is important to me. If im going to be an elite crossfitter im going to need to rock an elite body. Bring on the clothes that dont fit perfectly and the abnormal body. I want my life just the way I like it way more than I want to look perfect.
Rock what you got! and if God blessed you with muscles that do work flaunt them. Also remember that no one judges you as hard as you do. Treat yourself the way you would treat your bestfriend and you will never suffer from self hatred.
Grow a pair...... of biceps.
Love all around
So I just read this awesome article about "accepting your crossfit body." Here it is: http://liferxd.com/2013/11/20/accepting-my-crossfit-body/
Anyays, you can read it. I recommend it but you dont have to. I'm going to tell you a bit about it anyways.
Basically the article was about accepting all that comes with crossfit and accepting what it does to your body. This article is more geared towards women but in reality it could be useful for men as well depending on how you see yourself. It talks about things from callused hands to triceps that are visible through a shirt. As a woman growing up in a society that bowed down to the slender women I've thought a lot about the aftermath of lifting heavy. I might get bigger.. At first that scared me. Now it doesn't. It's actually really hard to gain size. In fact if you are a female crossfitter you actually have to TRY to gain muscle mass if thats what you want. Santa doesn't bring muscular thighs and a round ass for Christmas. You're going to have to lift a lot of weight and eat a lot to build up those muscles! So I guess what I'm saying is that crossfit wont make you gain a ton of weight. And even if it did... Crossfit makes it show in beautiful ways. The key is body acceptance and self love.
The article talked about female athletes who have a hard time finding clothes that "fit" them the way they want them to. I've been an athlete almost my entire life and I'm very familiar with the jeans that that are tight in the thighs and huge in the waist. There has been times I could've stored a honey dew melon in the front of my waist band but puting on leggings under my jeans would've been out of the question. I used to complain about that and hate that my thighs are that big. Today I realize that I would way rather have those musularly thick thighs than any others. Those thighs and probably some more muscle is whats going to help me squat over 200 pounds. If that means that when I wear jeans I will also have to wear a belt, so be it.
The article talked about getting black heads and clogged pores from the dirty mats we sometimes lay our bodies on. I guess all I have to say about that is love what you do and accept all that comes with it. if you're a cross country runner love your foot calluses because they protect your feet and fight against blisters. If you're a tennis player love your hugely muscular shoulders because they allow you to win matches and they to protect against injury. Love whatever your love brings whether that be zits, calluses, sore muscles, ripped clothes, or even less leisure time because you chose this life for a reason.
Overall, I guess what I'm saying is that overtime crossfit is going to make me abnormally muscular and a spectacle for non crossfitters to gocke at. I'm completely fine with the fact that I wont look like an average american woman. I'm fine with this because I have no desire to be an AVERAGE american woman. I want to be elite in every aspect of my life that is important to me. If im going to be an elite crossfitter im going to need to rock an elite body. Bring on the clothes that dont fit perfectly and the abnormal body. I want my life just the way I like it way more than I want to look perfect.
Rock what you got! and if God blessed you with muscles that do work flaunt them. Also remember that no one judges you as hard as you do. Treat yourself the way you would treat your bestfriend and you will never suffer from self hatred.
Grow a pair...... of biceps.
Love all around
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