It's a powerful word and emotion to say the least. But I've been feeling it a lot lately. For me the feeling a can physically feel it. It feels like my chest, probably my heart, is reaching for another person. I almost feel as if I have to lean forward to get closer to them. Thru recovery I've become a touchy person. I want to be close to people. I think it's because I have so much more love. I have more energy and less preoccupation with myself so I'm able to notice how strongly I feel for others. I get this "love" feeling more often than I think is normal.
I feel it when I'm talking to a stranger and we are making great conversation. It's as if I hear the banter going back and forth and I'm so impressed with the way we mesh that I feel it, Love.
I feel it when I see the people I love most. Mostly Chelsea, the closest of my family, a few coworkers, and even people I idolize. I'm just going to use Chelsea as an example. We've been the best of friends for like 6 years now. This girl has been there for me just as much as my family has. She is my family. When I'm around her I want to hug her and not let her go. I'm just not sure of any other way to express how grateful I am to have her in my life. For me, each hug is a reminder that I wont ever let anything get in the way of our friendship like I used to let my eating disorder get in the way. Each hug is an apology for the past and a promise for the future.
Okay, this might sound off topic but believe me it's not. I'd like to discuss my thoughts on girl crushes. I've had a lot of girl crushes. I've wondered if maybe I'm gay because I have so many. But then I start crushing on a super cool dude and I know that I'm into the men folk. Anyways, we've established that I've had a few girl crushes. I've done a lot of pondering on this topic. I start crushing on them because I like what they represent. I put them on this pedestal as a virtuous creature that can't do wrong. I'm just going to list off a few of my girl crushes just so If they were to see their name on here they'd know that they've had an impact on me. Also If I was some one's girl crush and I saw my name in their blog it would defs make my day like 74659283745387 times better. Any who, GO!
First their was Jillian Michaels- I think I was impressed with how she could train the contestants on the biggest loser. When I discovered her I was pretty deep into disordered thinking and eating. I had this delusion that if ever I met her she would see something in me and train me into the shape I longed to be. Today, Jillian isn't one of my girl crushes. I respect her and would love to train with her. But she is no longer a Goddess.
At some point in my exercising career I started taking every exercise class under the sun. Needless to say I've been taught by many instructors. Naturally I'd form opinions of them. After the first or second class I'd decide if they would be a preferred instructor or not. My all time favorite fitness instructor in the wonderland that is Alaska would be Jennifer Timothy. She's fit. She's happy. She seems to care for the environment. She seems to have her life in order. She made fitness her career. She seems to genuinely care for me. Basically I dig her soul and her spirit. If I had met JT earlier in life and you asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up I might've said JT. Now I've found who I am and I like it! JT still has a beautiful soul and I still admire her greatly.
Christmas Abbott- if you follow me on instagram you'd know that I think this chick is a total babe. She's my woman crush Wednesday picture every time I participate in woman crush Wednesday. She is a crossfit champ and that alone makes my head spin. I aspire to be bomb as f*ck at crossfit. I guess I want to be a badass like Christmas one day. Also her tattoos are glorious.
Katelyn Houston- You might not know the name yet. But you will. This lady has goals! We've gotten to know each other recently so I'd like to honor her here. I admire her honesty, her passion for progress, and her punctuality for texting. Katelyn, you make me laugh and I cant seem to wipe the smile off my face while chatting with you. You keep doing you and you will take the world by storm. Watch for her on the USA women's soccer team as a keeper and a contender in the Crossfit Games.
Sorry this post was kinda long.
Bre: More love than ever before. ED: ed who?
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