Today I felt super strong. I improved my dead lift max at crossfit, did well on the Workout Of The Day (WOD), and did 25 real kipping pull ups without a band! I just started being able to do kipping pull ups yesterday! So 25 was a big deal for me. Any who, I felt strong. At crossfit I was a tank. When I say tank I mean it in the best way possible. But once I got home and looked at myself as I was taking a shower/looking at my naked body in the mirror I thought that I looked larger than usual. I'm thinking it could've been swollen muscles. I mean I did just finish working out. Also I still wonder if ED is skewing my self vision. It freaks me out that I will never know if I am truly seeing myself for what I actually look like.
Long story short. I've been exercising and eating like a champ! Not eating enough to bulk but enough to keep me satisfied and energized during workouts. (I say that like it's simple but really I've been working on that balance since 2007) So with all this data I've collected I really can't be gaining weight. Sure I've been lifting heavier than usual but I've also been burning more calories than usual. I think it's impossible for me to be gaining weight right now. Even so if I was gaining weight It would still be okay because obviously I've become fitter. I say "obviously" because I'm doing things with my body everyday that I couldn't have done before crossfit. Today I did 25 pull ups. A month ago when I started crossfit I couldn't do one.
ALSO: Even though I thought I was looking heavier I didn't restrict or exercise more than I wanted to. I had originally planned to go on a run after dinner but in all honesty I'm far to tired. What I needed to do tonight was rest. And that is exactly what I did.
I could never know what I actually look like. But what I do know is that my body impresses me everyday.
Bre: Confused but proud
Ed: Being questionable as always.
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