Recovered... vs. Recovering.

Hi!

I write this post from the seat of an airplane so I haven’t the faintest idea of who is peaking over my shoulder reading this… But I’m cool with it. Keep reading!

Anyways, I recently posted a status about this being my semi anniversary of doing CrossFit! People seemed to like it so I decided to write a more lengthy post about the matter. Plus, If you know me at all you know that talking about CrossFit is no chore for me. J

So in in June of 2013 the Saturday after I turned 19 I walked into CrossFit Alaska for the first time.  Going in I knew that Crossfit would become important to me but I had no idea that it would change me, change my life, and change my views. The day I walked though those doors I had joined a band of true athletes and true human beings. Some crossfitters don’t appricate crossfit being called a cult. I like it! Why not call it a cult. We may as well be blood brothers. The second you walk into a good crossfit box and make a commitment to yourself you have made a commitment to everyone else in that gym. By you saying, “I want to be faster. I want to be better. I want to feel good. I want to throw my grandkids over my shoulder. I want to get a strict pull up. I want to run a sub 7 min mile.” You are making a commitment to help everyone else in that gym reach their goals. Crossfit isn’t a bunch of meat heads trying to get their heart rate up and their body fat percentage down. It’s a family, a clique, a crowd, a lifestyle, a drill sargent kicking your ass just hard enough to break you. Break you. Change you. Make you better.

Anyways, now that I’ve been crossfitting for about half a year and “recovered” from my ED for about 9 months I know that it’s like to be healthy. I can eat pie for lunch and not feel guilty. I can be told by a nurse that I shouldn’t workout for a few days and not bust into tears. I can eat with friends and not think about whether or not a food is a “good” purge food or not. Good purge foods are foods that come up easy when you purge. Something that takes longer to digest. After all the point of purging is to get rid of the calories before they are metabolized. Anyways. The point is that I don’t have to think about that anymore. All this is due to recovery. And to Crossfit. You might be wondering why “recovered” is in quotations. It’s because someone with an eating disorder is never recovered. I will always be IN recovery. I will have good days and bad days. I will have strides and set backs. There will be days where I love my body and days where I don’t. But being IN recovery is a whole lot better than not being in recovery.

My life is about progress. All I want to do is better myself. If I’m doing that then all is well.

Merry Christmas Eve everyone J

And remember. Just love. 

Unbroken

So, I’ve been Crossfitting for about 6 months now. This whole time I’ve been loving it. I’ve been getting my ass kicked by coaches and appreciating the hell out of it. I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve given that little bit of extra energy to do better in a workout. I’ve come in to do supplemental strength, mobility, endurance, wods, and everything else. I’ve been working hard because I have serious goals for Crossfit that I am going to reach. Hopefully with this extra work and dedication I can reach these goals faster.

Anyways, you’re a smart kid. You smell what I’m stepping in. I’ve been pushing myself. But I’m NOT the only one who has been doing the pushing. My coaches, my swolemates, my friends, and my family have also been doing the pushing. This Monday was no different. I showed up at crossfit and did some extra work. No biggie. It’s what I do. I like it. Anyways the wod comes around.

Here’s the WOD:

For time and Reps

24-21-18-15-12-9-6-3 Deadlifts at 95/65 lbs.

in between each set you do as many unbroken thrusters as possible.

15 minute cap.

Alright. Fine. No problem. Bring it.

I started the WOD with full intentions of going ham. I mean.. I did show up at crossfit. I was going to push myself. I was going to do those deadlifts and then as many unbroken thrusters as possible. The workout was rough! It always is. If it was anything less than damn uncomfortable I wouldn’t love it like I do. Anyways. Time was ticking. I’m was on track to finish before the 15 minutes. But remember, the goal is to do AS MANY THRUSTERS AS POSSIBLE so I know I’m going to be going as long as I can or until someone tells me to stop. My coach walks by, he sees that as the workout continues my reps of thrusters are decreasing. He tells me “lets get those thrusters back up to 10.” Of course.. It’s only natural for me to think “you’ve got to be shitting me”. So I thought that for a second and then I thought “why not?” If he thinks I can do it then I can. He’s my coach. He sees me work and develop every day. He knows what I can do and he knows that I can get those thrusters back  up to 10.. So I do it. My back is toast. I shout with every really hard press. I spent all weekend lifting and came in to the workout being sore. That means nothing except for the fact that I was fatiguing faster than I was thrusting. I look around, I’m the only one in the gym still working. I have like 2 maybe three minutes left. Ryan walks over and starts to count my reps, give me tips, cheer me on, and tell me not to put that bar down… He says. Get at least 10. I know I’ve got ten. But FUCK! My lower back is no longer a spring chicken. It had already given up on me. But I wasn’t giving up on it. At this point I’m having to rest with the bar in the front rack position between reps. Don’t worry. In this WOD that is still considered unbroken. By this time my legs are shaking. My back is throbbing from exhaustion. I look to Ryan and start to beg, “Please, let me put it down! I cant. I cant!” I’m almost in tears. Maybe I was crying. Maybe I just had to much endorphins pumping through me that I couldn’t shed any tears. I do a couple more reps. And start to beg again. “I cant, I cant.” Shaking my head. Then finally with 13 second until the 15 minute cap I drop the bar and then let myself drop to the floor.

Completely spent I lay there will my chest rising and falling rapidly. That is what crossfit is about. Give every last piece of energy to the wod.

I’ve been exercising for years now. Before crossfit I thought I was working hard.. I was dead wrong. I’ve never physically worked hard like I have in crossfit. This is why I see results with crossfit. I push myself and so does everyone else! Results are earned and not given.

As I lay there assessing whether or not there was anything more I could’ve given my friend/gym mom comes and scoops me into her arms and says “Good job little stud” That’s all I need that and the grin on my coaches face after he realized how much I’m willing to give.

Just love, Just love and Crossfit.