My 2 year anniversary at WIld (Facebook post from august)

Friends on Facebook for 2 Years

Bre Baines and Wild horizons Crossfit.

ir brother with their shirts off looking like a bunch of monsters. I was intimidated. But i worked out anyway. I told Ryan (Da head hancho) that i didnt know if this was the place for me and that id like to try it again. He said i could come in again for free to try it out and that they'd love to have me. I did and i went around asking everyone why they chose to come to this gym and most of what i heard was that the programming was great and that the community was great and that Ryan actually cares about his athletes. That was enough. For the next two years I would ride my bike to wild and learn things about myself, others, the sport, and the methods to the madness. I would get better and try really hard. I would see people struggle, i would see others lift them up and encourage them. I would see Wild change people for the better. I would become less intimidated and more inspired. I would learn my limits and challenge them daily. I would get my Level 1 certification and start to help others with technique. I would bring people to Wild and encourage them to stay. I would greet new people with a smile because that's how i was greeted. I would participate in competitions. I would get sponsored by Max Muscle Northern Colorado. I would foster friendships with the world's kindest people. I would set ambitions goals and be supported by everyone in the gym. Wild makes me better. Wild is my home away from home. I feel more comfortable there than i do almost anywhere else. So.. here's to the community. And to the man behind the madness, Ryan Garcia. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YALL!

It's been awhile, a lot has happened.

It's been a really long time since I've posted. I haven't posted since February.. That's probably because I've been relapsing since November of 2014. Maybe a little before that. I cant remember. When you're relapsing you dont really remember everything that goes on in your life like you would when you aren't encased in your eating disorder. Everything is blurry and unclear. So when someone asks how long you have been struggling you dont know what to say. But I'm pretty sure i really went off the deep end in November of 2014. It's august and I'm just now getting my shit back in order. my ducks in a row. my poop in a group, and my eggs in a basket. So..there went another 9 months of my life to bulimia. There went sooooo many crossfit gains.. to bulimia. There went connections with others and light hearted kinship.. to bulimia. there went hundreds of dollars to food that i would later purge.


BUT! God Bless America I am back on the straight and narrow and am feeling better than i ever remember feeling. Its only been 2 weeks. 1 of me trying to cut back on binging and purging and one of me without doing it at all. Thats HUGE. ENORMOUS. GIGANTIC. I am head over heals proud of myself and so is my main homie gabigail who was there when i needed her and rose to the occasion like a boss. I am giving my body adequate nutrition to function and perform. It's incredible how much better you feel just a couple weeks into really really really trying. Let it be known that this is not the first time during this relapse that ive tried to get my shit together. But it is the first time in this relapse that ive made it more than like 20 hours without letting my eating disorder get the best of me. Already I am a champion. I will continue to be for the rest of my life.


I'm so excited to see how much eating like a normal human improves my life. I'm so excited to see what my full crossfit potential is. I'm excited to spread the word about my recovery so that other's know they are not alone. I am exhuberated to feel as good as i do. My body is changing for the better and so is my brain.

Do the hardest thing you'v never done and beat your eating disorder. And if you've done that, help someone else.

I'm doing the open

I'm doing the 2015 Crossfit Open

• Because I've worked hard this year.

• Because I want to see where I stack up at my gym, in my friend groups, in my county, in my state, in my country, and in the world. 
• Because my coaches and friends have spent time and effort on me to make me better and I owe it to them to test my fitness.

• Because I want to be a part of the larger crossfit community.

• Because years later when I look back at this year's score I will be proud of how far I've come. 
• Because I want to push myself. 
• Because I want to get real comfortable with being uncomfortable. 
• Because my hands will heal as well as my muscles.

• Because I look forward to this all damn year.
• Because I want to do the same workouts as the big boys.
• Because my body is capable. 
• Because I owe it to my gym.
• anyone's score can be helpful for the team's score.
• any average joe can contribute to sending a team to regionals. 

• Because it's only $20.

• Because I'm doing the workouts anyway.
• Because no repping keeps me honest.
• Because I want an excuse to take my shirt off in public. 

• Because I don't want to explain to people why im not doing the open.
• Because saying "I'm the 70,000th fittest in the world" sounds better than "I exercise in my spare time."
• Because every crossfit athlete should do the open. 
• Because I'm going to surprise myself. 
• Because my all is good enough.
• Because no matter how far down the leaderboard I am I'm still lapping the people on the coach. 
• Because crossfit makes my heart sing. 
• Because the open season is my favorite season. 

• Because I cant wait to cheer and be cheered for. 
• Because I won't even have to count my own reps.
• Because Samantha and I need another post-open picture.

• Because your body was meant to move and your heart was meant to race. 

So, 3-2-1-GO sign up for the 2015 Crossfit Open. 

2014

2014

Holy hell. It's been quite the year. I experienced my first two semesters as an RA at colorado state and shared tears and laughter with said residents. In my first semester i learned that not everyone is going to like you.. In my second semester i learned that it is much easier to make friends with your residents if you just be 110% authentic with them from the very beginning. Its okay to cry while telling them why you love CSU and it's also okay to reprimand them in advance for saying the word "retard" because they will. and it's only fair that they get a warning in advance and a good firm talking to if i don't happen to be there to hear them say it. 

This year i told a professor to "give me a bad grade and get over it" which was me essentially telling her to fuck off. It felt incredible. I regret nothing. I mean yeah. I got my first C in that Gender Roles in Society class but that professor was inconsiderate and could take some less than friendly words. I'm well aware by me not giving a class my whole heart it only affects me butttttttt. you can't win them all right? She's fine. I'm fine. We are all fine. 

2014 was the first year i started competing in crossfit competitions. I did the crossfit open, the Quick and the Dead, Clash of the Titans, the MBS Turkey Challenge, and the Invictus Online Comp all in the course of a year! Go me! Did i get first or even top three at any of these competitions? hell no. but they were all a great time. I pushed myself and put myself out there. Every workout or competition i do is one step closer to reaching my fitness goals. 

I dated this girl. It was the first time I'd really dated someone. The first time I'd been a girlfriend. It was an overall great experience and i fell in love! So now i know what love feels like. and what heartbreak feels like. and what good friends who take you out and get you drunk to get over her feels like. This girl and I didn't workout. But by the end of it we were talking like adults without tears or curse words. and really thats all you can ask for. 

I had a beautiful summer in alaska where i worked minimally but had my first job in the food service industry. It was actually fun! and I'm excited to work a few shifts over winter break. This job taught me to tip better. tips make the world go round. Me seeing a dollar in my jar after a transaction makes me a whole lot happier than seeing nothing. So from now on I give that feeling to others. Here I also learned that pride in a job comes in all different styles. and to say that someone doesn't value their work as much as you do because you show your pride differently isn't very inclusive. I also learned how great it is to get a free meal every time i work :) SCORE! 

As always, i spent time with my pup and my parents. every year they show me what unconditional love looks like. Sometimes the parentals and I fight but at the end of the day there is a mutual respect and really thats what it comes down to. As for chops (my dog son), he's got my back. Always has, always will. 

I learned the value of someone taking you to the DIA from Fort Collins and the value of someone picking you up from DIA to take you to Fort Collins. GOD BLESS anyone who has done either one of those things. Do you know how much super shuttle and green ride suck? A LOT. Your kind act of driving me for an hour even though i sing the whole time and talk about myself for a hot minute is so appreciated. 

Holy crap. I'm never going to talk about my significant other with curse words and disdain. Good lord. What was the point of living with someone and possibly loving someone if you're going to say mean things to them. Why would they care for you if you don't care enough about your feelings to spare you harsh words? Sorry that was a rant.. I just heard a couple cussing at each other. 

shit went down this year. It was bitter it was sweet. but overall I'm a better person due to 2014.

So maybe im a little volatile right now.

What do you mean "Why would you want to tell your uncle about your girlfriend?"

Why the fuck wouldn't I. Sarina has known about every occurrence that has happened to me this semester. she has slept next to me more often than not. Her scent fills my pillow and when I'm lucky my nostrils. I want to tell people how happy I am. I want them to see me smile when i look at her and my nerves settle when she's close to me. I want to tell people what I like about her and who she is. I want to take pictures of us and post them on Facebook for the world to see. Because I'm fucking happy! I'm fucking happy fucking a girl. Is that so different? is it so weird that I'm in love with a person who has similar genitalia to me. If thats the case then none of you heteros can date someone with the same hair color or eye color because that.. that is just wrong. some might even call it an abomination. A-bomb-in-nation. Dear god if you are so closed-minded that you can't appreciate love as love i will bomb the nation that used to be our friendship. get out. I don't want you here. If you can't learn to accept me. me and my glorious girlfriend who leaves me notes and steals me apples from the dining hall then you can get the fuck out. leave. you're not wanted here. My mind and body is mine and i will do what i want with it. If i want to tell someone about the girl who makes my heart sing than that is what I'm going to do. I'm not tip toeing around because I'm scared of that slight pause. the second where I'm not sure whats coming: approval or prejudice. I have a fucking girlfriend. Her name is sarina and god damn it she is a nice lady. 

Time Flies

Time flies 

As of June 17th, 2014 I've been crossfiting for a year! roughly 6 days a week for a year. Sometimes multiple workouts in a day. I've probably done over 400 met cons (WODs)! You might not see how cool this is but I am in awe. Over 400 times I pushed myself harder than I wanted to. Over 400 times I've walked into a crossfit gym and felt at home. My first crossfit anniversary is one of many. In celebration of this milestone I'm going to tell you some stuff I learned though crossfit this year. I can't possibly tell you everything. But something is better than nothing right? 

I've learned that even if you think you're the fittest crossfitter in the gym at that specific time that doesn't mean jack shit.. Later on in the day another crossfitter is going to walk into the gym and shit all over the score you just threw up. thats okay! You tried. And you can try again the next time that workout is posted. Write it in your crossfit journal and move on. keep training. if you want it bad enough your day will come. 

Congratulate everyone on their performance. Even if you think they could've pushed harder. You don't know their life. They need to justify nothing to you. They came in and threw down and that is fucking spectacular. 

Cheering helps. Do it for your neighbor and they shall return the favor. nothing makes me work hard than hearing someone yelling my name. Oh yeah! learn everyones names. people love that. it makes them feel special and cared about. 

Crossfit is a lifestyle.  Crossfitters do not just come in for a workout a leave their crossfit identity in the gym. If you do crossfit regularly you are crossfit. You put the principles into practice on the daily. You've learned that good things come to those who work hard. They know that to see their body perform they're going to need to feed it premium fuel. Crosfitters don't just want to AMRAP kettle bell swings. They also want to AMRAP life with quality movement. They want to experience life in the fittest state that they can. Thats part of what makes crossfit so beautiful.

I've learned at every body is different and there isn't a set order that we all accomplish different crossfit milestones. Some people get bar muscle ups first and some people get ring muscle ups first. Even if they do all the same workouts and try the same cues. Our bodies are good at some things and not so good at others. its just part of the sports. the goal is to make your weaknesses less weak and your strengths even stronger. 

It's important to enjoy everyday. You don't have to enjoy every second of every workout but there has to be a highlight. A part that you were proud of. Otherwise, why would you want to come back?

Random acts of kindness. If you see someone do something incredible or someone impresses you tell them. Sometimes working out and pushing yourself to the next level is hard and we lose motivation. A single compliment can amp them up and make them eager to come back the next day. Compliment them. "Wow, beautiful snatch!"

Don't assume someone can do something. Test what they can do. You wouldn't want to injure them just because by looking at them you thought they could lift a certain weight for a certain amount of reps.

Everyone and I mean everyone sucked before they hit their stride. Give yourself time. Practice now, suck less later :) 

Crossfit is fun. 

That is all. 

Who defines significance?

Alright, since I'm being a lazy narrator I'm going to give you a dialog from a conversation I had a couple days ago.

Uncle: Hey, so how do you like your new job at mama o's (its a seafood restaurant and I work as a waitress/hostess/cashier/people pleaser)?
Bre: I like it! It's hard and I'm always on my feet but I like it! I plan on going back this winter and then again in the summer.
Uncle: Well, I'm glad you like it but when are you doing to start looking for a job in your field?
Bre: My field?
Uncle: You know. Your degree.
Bre: Ohhhh that field. Ummm I don't plan on using that for awhile.
Uncle: What do you plan on doing after school?
Bre: Being a professional athlete.
Uncle: Have a back up plan.


I've been thinking a lot about this conversation. He means well. Absolutely. He just wants to make sure I do something significant with my life. But my question is "Who gets to decide what is and what isn't significant?" Is this significance based on money earned, money spent? is it based on whether or not I pay off my house? Is it based on how many children I bare or how many hours I work? WHAT IS THIS SIGNIFICANCE BASED OFF OF? and who gets to decide? is it society? is it my parents? is it the president, is it a higher power, is it the church? or is it me?

We get to decide for ourselves what is significant for us. That doesn't mean that I get to decide what is significant for you. That doesn't mean your parents can tell you you're a fuck up. We all should just go through life doing whatever makes our hearts sing. If you're hearts not singing and you're alright with that congrats. You're succeeding. But if your hearts not signing and you're not content with that then you need to make some changes. If we think what we've done is good enough (significant) then it is! Lets say I work my ass off and still never become a professional athlete.. First of all, fuck... that really sucks. But second of all that's still damn significant. I hypothetically spent years of my life working towards a goal that I set for myself.  No back up plan needed. If i were to fail at my dream I'd have a new one to work towards. That may or may not use a degree. Who knows.

My plan for after college is that same as it is right now. Be happy. Do what I love. Inspire others. Be a friend. Represent the little guy. And a lot of other things. Right now, to me that sounds a whole lot like being a professional crossfit athlete that is well known. Crossfit makes me happy. I love it. My story and my spirit will inspire others. Of course I will be a friend. And I will represent the little guy with my underdog story.

By some change of heart that I 100% don't think will happen. I could decide that this is no longer my dream. That's just fine! What ever I end up doing I will be happy. I'm 100% sure of it.

I don't need people even loved ones telling me what I should be doing. I know what would be safe. I know what is stable. I know my dreams are far fetched, risky, and hard as shit to achieve but I'm going to do it.


Don't doubt me.

uncle scott if you're reading this i still love and am grateful that you care enough about me to make suggestions.